Proper appearance of a school-aged Muslim girl ?

Should I allow my 15 yr.old daughter to wear any make-up, jewelry and perfumes?

My daughter is 15 and Alhamdulilah is attending an Islamic high-school,where she wears the mandated Islamic school uniform, which rightly prohibits make-up, perfumes and jewelry. But however lately my daughter has started to ask me to allow her to wear in her free time, off-school, exactly those items, make-up, perfumes,and jewelry, but I cannot agree with her as myself her mother do NOT wear any of them ! And I caught her wearing nail polish and lipstick,and I strictly prohibited her to use them anymore, but she keeps fighting with me, and I am tired of all this ! She also wants now to wear a shorter hijab /head-covering,and I do not think it is modest enough, as it is short ! So right now I am buying her more modest, plain, wrist-length Khimars, but my daughter is opposed to Khimar too...Jazakum Allahu
Khayran.

In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

Dear Sister,

I pray that you and your family are in good health, iman, and nearness to Allah Most High.

I assume that your daughter is past the age of puberty.

If she is, then she should strive to make her hijab as befitting the dignity of a Muslim woman as possible. However, I want to emphasize that your daughter is still not a grown woman; therefore, you may want to be a little more flexible in terms of what you allow. For example, she may not be ready for a long, wrist-length khimar. However, there are other kinds of hijab which fulfill the basic requirement of modesty, but also allow a young woman some creativity.

How about going shopping together? Your daughter needs to feel like she has some input in what she wears. You show her what you like. Then have her show you what she likes. Then decide to meet halfway. For example, she may pick a shorter scarf. If she does, then insist that she wear a looser top. A shawl-style scarf may be a good option. It drapes stylishly, looks very feminine, and provides good coverage for the bosom.

Alhamdulillah, you're very fortunate that your daughter is coming to you with her concerns. The most important thing you can do is to be consistent, explain the wisdom of hijab to your daughter, and allow some flexibility within the limits of the Sharia.

As far as makeup and perfume are concerned:

1. Perfume is by far the more pressing issue, since there are rigorously authenticated hadiths which prohibit the wearing of perfume. I understand that your daughter wants to smell nice. But there are ways to smell clean and fresh (with deodorant, etc) that don't contravene Islamic standards. Perfume, on the other hand, can have a very strong effect on members of the opposite sex. For this reason, your daughter should avoid perfuming herself when in public.

2. Makeup:

It's important to inculcate a sense of beauty in our daughters that is not predicated on how physically appealing we look. A Muslim woman is naturally beautiful because her iman shines through and gives her a unique radiance.

Makeup does not make a woman beautiful. While it can be used to enhance a woman's features, it is not appropriate for a woman to wear heavy makeup in public. I emphasize the word heavy because there are some types of adornment which are permitted by the sunna, such as kohl and henna. What the Qur'an and Sunna explicitly prohibit is a woman's making a display of herself. There is a difference between modest, tasteful elegance and showy adornment. As a mother, it is up to you to show your daughter this distinction.

3. Jewelry:

Jewelry is really in another category. Depending on what type it is and what quantity your daughter wears, how much is this an issue? Perhaps a compromise can be reached here. What your daughter should avoid is any type of jewelry which draws attention, like ankle bracelets, for example. But if she is talking about wearing a ring and a wrist bracelet, for example, then this is permissible.

I pray this is helpful.

And Allah knows best.