Qibla > Answers > Guidance & Counsel > General Religious Advice > Major Sins > Physical relations in the past with a non-Muslim

Question ID:7514

Physical relations in the past with a non-Muslim

Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher

Question:

I am very upset, during my younger days I dated a kaffar and had sexual relations with him everytime i think about it i cry and hate myself and ask for forgiveness everyday i want forgivenss from Allah and I upset my parents and my family my father passed away during my rebelious period i just feel as if he died thinking i was a bad person when i was not i loved my fathert dearly. i made a grave mistake and am trying to make myself a better muslim I dated a muslim man and am now married happily to him I have told him of my past mistakes at first he was very upset but now i think he has accepted it but i still feel i have let down all those close to me and those i love. i would like some guidance and advise what should i do or forgivenss

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

In the Name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful.

Dear Sister,

I apologize for the long delay.

So far, you have taken the right steps. You repented to Allah, felt remorse for your actions, and moved on with your life.

It is actually unlawful to discuss your past sins, unless there is a religiously-based reason for doing so.

It took a lot of courage to talk to your husband about this. However, now that you're happily married, it's time to move on. Don't let past sins define who you are today. You don't need to discuss it with anyone, and you don't need to dwell on it.

Pray to Allah Most High that He give you the opportunity to be reunited with your father in Paradise. You can still benefit your father by making dua for him and reciting Qur'an in his memory.

Let this be an opportunity for you to become a stronger Muslim and grow closer to your husband.

Here are some relevant articles from SunniPath:

Repentance, Talking About Past Sin, and Avoiding That Which Does Not Concern One http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=822&CATE=3

Peace and tranquility of heart: attained only through repentance and remembrance of Allah

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=3378&CATE=101

May Allah bless you in your marriage.

And Allah knows best.

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