Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
I'm a young female Muslim (18). I've had sexual desires since I was very young. When I think of my very first memories, they are all sexually tinted. I remember myself at the of 4 approximately, laying down on my (male) buddy. And I dont mean laying in a normal playing kind of way but as in a sexual position. ...
Another thing which is still bothering me is that I have masturbated since a very very young age.... As long as I can remember myself I have been doing that. (Age of 5 or 6..)
Now as an adult, I still can't stop myself from fullfilling this sexual desire, it has been inside me practically all my life.
Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
I pray that this finds you well, and in the best of health and spirits. May Allah grant you all good and success in this life and the next.
Allah Most High, in His infinite wisdom, creates each of us with different tendencies and inclinations, and He tests us accordingly. Such tests are a means of honoring those who struggle and strive to obey Allah--and if one fails and then repents sincerely, even this is an honor.
Allah Most High tells us,
Taking the Means
You need to take the means to avoid masturbating. These would include controlling your diet; avoiding things that stir your desire; and by fasting consistently. Get married--it is a halal outlet for this natural desire.
With this, send blessings consistently upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). One short form that you can repeat ceaselessly (and should strive to do so) is, "Allahumma salli `ala Sayyidina Muhammadin wa Aalihi wa sallim" (O Allah, send blessings upon Sayyidina Muhammad, his family, and grant peace." By "his family" we intend all the believers--including the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)'s immediate family and his companions. If your yearning for Allah and His Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) is stronger than your physical desires, you'll be able to overcome them and restrain them within halal limits.
When desires are stirred, get out of the situation and place in which you are in, and immediately seek refuge in Allah from the Devil--by saying "A`udhu billahi min ash-shaytanir rajeem" (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil). Drink some water; do wudu; and send blessings upon the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
And don't forget to make dua to Allah for strength after each obligatory prayer. And if you ever happen to fail, remember to turn to Allah in repentance--and remember that Allah loves the repentant, and those sincerely striving to change.
And Allah alone gives success.
MMVIII © Faraz Rabbani and Qibla.
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