Answered by Ustadha Zaynab Ansari, SunniPath Academy Teacher
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them.
What you should do here is balance between the need to be honest and the fact that you should not disclose a sin that Allah has concealed.
Preferably, if your past is not something that is known to many people, and you have repented and become practicing, then you should keep these sins to yourself. Once Allah has concealed something, it is beneficial not to spread it, unless there is a religiously sanctioned reason for doing so.
On the flip side, we know that it is also unlawful to deceive another Muslim. Although in this case, you would be permitted to give an indirect answer when asked this type of question, you also have the option of being truthful. It may be more harmful to lie to your fiancÚ now and then have him find out in the future. You don't want your future husband to feel that he can't trust you.
If you feel that this will come out in the future, then it may be better to be honest with him now. You don't have to go into gory details, but you can tell him that at one time you were not practicing and didn't know what you were doing was wrong and you had inappropriate contact with men, or spent time hanging out with men, or whatever you think you can say without revealing what is unnecessary.
Insha'Allah, whatever you decide to do, I hope things go well for you. And pray to Allah to give your fiancÚ a forgiving heart. Remind your fiancÚ that Allah Most High forgives all sins. And once a believer makes sincere repentance, it's as if they have a clean slate. Emphasize your desire to be honest in the hopes that your marriage will be built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect.
And Allah knows best. And Allah alone gives success.
Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari)
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