Marriage, Divorce, Re-Marriage, and My Daughter’s Marital Future

I am a convert to Islam …. I left my husband… because he was going to force our daughter to marry someone that she did not want to marry. He had threat to kill her many times if she did not marry who he wanted her to marry. I have agreed to be away from my husband as long as it takes to settle this. I was forced by my non-Muslim parents to leave and divorce my husband in our country’s civil court and it was finalized on May 6, 2003. I did not want to leave or divorce my husband , but my father threaten to kill me if I went back to my husband. I think in September of 2003 my husband made talaq three times at one sitting. I found out on the September 22, 2003 that he had remarried on 9/11/2003. In my Islamic Marriage Contract he was to ask me first if he could marry another wife and he did not ask me. So I asked my son to ask his father if he would cancel the Talaq and he told our son that "If she wants to be my wife she can." So I have a few questions. 1- Is our Islamic Marriage Still valid? 2-Is my Husband 2nd Islamic Marriage valid? 3-Does a USA civil divorce count as a Islamic Divorce? 4-Will our Islamic Marriage still be valid if we are apart be it a long or short period of time ? 5- Is three talaq at one time mean three divorces or just one talaq? 6-IF we remarry will I be his 1st wife, 2nd wife, or 3rd wife? 7- Does my husband have the right to force our daughters to marry someone they do not want to marry? They are both above the age of 20 years. 8-Did my Iddat start 5/6/2003 or 9/?/2003? 9- Does my husband still have to pay me my Mahr? 10-Does my husband have to pay for my time that I was in Iddat?

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate. May His abundant blessing and most perfect of peace be on His Beloved Prophet, the best of creation, and his family, companions and followers.

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

1. Regarding your marital status

a) If your husband signed the civil divorce papers, your marriage ended.

b) Else, if you are sure that your husband pronounced divorce—even once—in the case where you say that you ‘think’ he did so, then your marriage ended. If you are not sure, however, you would remain married.

If neither is the case, then you have to seek a divorce, or annulment through reliable Islamic scholars.

2. Your husband may well have been sinful—given the circumstances—in marrying again. However, this would not affect the validity of this second marriage.

3. A civil divorce counts as a talaq (divorce) in the Shariah if the husband signs it. [Search of ‘court divorce’ at www.sunnipath.com]

4. Being apart for a long time does not invalidate one’s wedding. [Marghinani, Hidaya]

5. A triple-pronouncement of divorce in one phrase or situation counts as three by general agreement of Islamic scholarship, including all four Sunni schools of law, which considered other positions aberrant (shadhdh). [See: http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00000169.aspx  ]

6. There is no such concept of ‘wife numbering’ in the Shariah insofar as it is obligatory for the husband to provide for and treat his wives equally.

7. It is not permitted to marry one’s child—whether boy or girl—against their will and agreement. [See: http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00000526.aspx ]

8-10 depend on when the talaq or annulment occurred… please do not hesitate to follow up or to contact a reliable, god-fearing traditional scholar.

Allah Most High said,

065.005 That is the commandment of Allah which He revealeth unto you. And whoso keepeth his duty to Allah, He will remit from him his evil deeds and magnify reward for him.

And Allah alone gives strength.

Wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani