How can I change? 

I am a UK born Muslim, and I am trying to practice Islam. I have been ''semi'' practicing for many years now. I manage a few months on the straight path before lapsing back into my old ways of music, women, drugs etc...I then hit rock bottom and again try to practice deen. This vicious cycle has been going on for too long. I recently performed Umra in the hope that it would put me firmly onto the path, but once again I have relapsed. I have good company, I know many practicing brothers but I find that I cannot live like them, and indeed I prefer company with those who are not on the oath, as with them anything goes...I truly do fear Allah, and I live in constant regret, yet my repentance is obviously not sincere as I quickly fall back again.... 

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful & Compassionate

Wa Alaykum Assalam wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuhu,

The key to change is sincere, true repentance—to realize that the Next Life is better, and most lasting than this life, and to take the means to distance oneself from the ways of harm. This requires seeking good company and leaving bad company; busying oneself with good, wholesome activities and leaving harmful activities; and to keep turning to Allah through worship and yearning.

And Allah alone gives success.

Faraz Rabbani

 

See also:

Sheikh `Abd al-Qadir's Allegory: The Fortress of Iman

Does faith increase or decrease? Are actions part of faith?

 

Sincere Repentance

What is Sincere Repentance

Repentance, Talking About Past Sin, and Avoiding That Which Does Not Concern One

Past Sins

How Does One Repent?

Prayer of Repentance: Salat al-Tawba

Chapter on Repentance: From Imam Nawawi’s Gardens of the Righteous

 

May Allah Azza wa Jall guide us all to the ways most beloved to Him, ameen.
 

Wassalam,
SunniPath Fiqh Team