Obedience to Husband's Parents      

I've always heard that when a girl gets married and goes to live with her in-laws, the father in law and mother in law should be considered as her own mother and father and she should do everything for them just as she used to do for her own parents, but I read somewhere else that it is not daughter in law's responsibility to take care of her mother and father in law. I am confused as to which one is correct and authentic?

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate

May Allah's peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad, his folk, companions, and followers

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

A woman would be wise to treat her husbands parents as her own in terms of love, respect, and general excellence of dealings. The same applies to men with regards to the parents of his wife. This is what good character entails--and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "I was only sent to perfect noble character." It is also an important aspect in having a healthy and loving marriage relationship (particularly when one will be interacting extensively with one's in-laws). Few things hurt a marriage as much as one spouse being rude or bad to the other's parents.

However, it is not one's religious duty to obey the parents of one's in the ways that obedience to one's own parents is a duty. If one does so, it is out of one's pure choice. When one doesn't, one should still exercise wisdom and gentle care to do so in a way that does not entail obvious disrespect or poor dealings. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Give everyone who has a right their due right." [Bukhari] The scholars--the inheritors of the Prophets--explained, 'And giving one party their rights should not be a reason for not giving another their due rights.'

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani