Must My Husband Provide Separate Housing For Me?  

Please advise me. I am a new Muslim and recently married. Before marriage, I agreed to live with my husband's non-Muslim family, not knowing how bad their living conditions were. I live with my husband and his father in a housing project. My father-in-law is not a Muslim and he spends all day watching haram TV shows. The apartment is roach and mice infested. Furthermore, my father-in-law has a dog that leaves filth everywhere. The housing project requires the tenants to either work forty hours a week or volunteer eight hours a month from their time. As a Muslim woman, I feel that I have gone beyond my wifely obligations in dealing with this situation. I am four months pregnant, stressed out, and unhappy. Is it haram for my husband to keep me here and not provide me with my own residence? I read in a book (I do not remember the author) about nikah that the man is supposed to provide a house to his wife\wives apart from his in-laws if she wants.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

Dear Sister,

May Allah increase you in patience and love for His sake.

Even though you agreed to live with your husband's father, your husband cannot keep you in that type of situation indefinitely. Your husband is obligated to provide you with clean, safe, and independent living quarters. I learned from one of my teachers that if a man has his wife in a dangerous neighborhood, then he is religiously obligated to move her to a safer neighborhood. A housing project is certainly not the best situation for a pregnant Muslim woman.

Your right is to have an environment free from the interference of your in-laws. By putting you in the same house with a non-Muslim father and his dog, your husband is not living up to his religious obligation. Please sit down with your husband and encourage him to find better lodgings for you. Don't argue or nag, this will just annoy him. I suspect that your husband may be experiencing financial difficulties. If this is the case, encourage him to work hard, save his money, and try his utmost to put you in a better situation. It doesn't have to be lavish, just decent. Appeal to your husband's concern for you and his unborn child. Tell him that you need a clean, healthy place for you and his baby.

I would also try sitting down with his father and explaining that you really need a clean environment for his grandchild. Maybe the thought of his grandchild will motivate him to clean up. Whatever you do, don't fight with people. This will just stress you out further. Use your talents to motivate your husband to improve this situation. It would also help if your husband could hear this information from a knowledgeable Muslim, so don't stop looking for a scholar to talk to.

I know that your living conditions are very difficult right now. But with patience and much du'a, insha'Allah Allah will alleviate your difficulties.

And Allah alone gives success. And Allah knows best.

Umm Salah

 

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