As a teenager, am I committing a grave sin by dating? 

As a teenager, am I committing a grave sin by dating?

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. May the peace and blessing of Allah be showered upon the Prophet Muhammad, his family, companions, and those who follow them with sincerity.

Yes, dating is a sin. According to the Reliance of the Traveler, a classical text on Islamic jurisprudence, it is absolutely unlawful for a man to be alone with a woman who is not his wife or a member of his unmarriageable kin (maharim). There is also the hadith of the Prophet, peace be upon him, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, the Devil makes a third." (Tirmidhi)

This prohibition on dating or being alone with a member of the opposite sex is based on the principle that what leads to the unlawful is in itself unlawful. Thus, if you are in a situation where you are alone with a member of the opposite sex and you obviously have some romantic interest in each other, it will only be a matter of time before you are tempted to disobey Allah by becoming intimate, i.e., fornicating. This is a grave sin. Therefore, to protect yourself from falling into such a sin, you shouldn’t be in a situation where you are tempted. Dating is one such situation.

Why expose yourself and this other person to this kind of sin? Think about the consequences for yourself, your friend, and your families. What if a child results from this relationship? I am not exaggerating when I say this. One only has to look around at the popular culture to note the heartbreak and illegitimate children that are a result of illicit relationships. These relationships start somewhere and that somewhere is often what seems like an innocent, casual date.

Please protect your deen and stop dating. If you want Allah’s pleasure and your own peace of mind, then seek the company of the opposite sex by halal means: preparing yourself spiritually and emotionally for marriage to a suitable spouse. Ask Allah’s forgiveness and seek His help in doing what is right. Pray to Allah to send you someone who will benefit you. And involve your family. Their love and guidance are crucial in this process.

And Allah alone gives success.

And Allah knows best.

Zaynab Ansari