Parents undue pressure to sever ties with my in-laws…

I have been married against the liking of my parents for four years. I am the oldest son of my parents and have a younger brother who assists me in my business. From the very first day of my marriage my wife has been asked to cut all contacts with her parents and relatives. And until now we have been compelled by my parents to cut all kind of contact with them. I am very confused as to what I should do. If I try to make contact with the relatives of my wife, my parents say I shall have to leave them. On the other side, my wife is suffering very much by their hard opinion of my parents. We both made every effort to ease their anger but all in waste. Now this situation has grown worse and worse as my brother-in-law’s marriage approaches, because my parents are not allowing my wife to participate in the wedding ceremony. Please, we need help and guidance about whether parents have the right to push their children to do as they wish.

Wa alaikum salaam,

Resolving this issue is your responsibility. Failing to do so will be a disservice to your wife. Regarding the right of the wife to visit her parents the Fuqaha mention:

The husband cannot prevent his wife from visiting her parents once a week. This is her legal right that she may see her parents once a week. (Haskafi, Durr al-Mukhtar, and confirmed by Ibn Abidin in Radd al-Muhtar, 2/1028).

Obedience to the parents is not unconditional and absolute. If they order one to refrain from fulfilling his or her religious obligation or to commit an act which is unlawful or prohibitively disliked, one may not listen to them.

Therefore, continue supporting your parents and be exceptionally nice to them. When they command you to do something which entails the non-fulfillment of your wife rights, it is not permissible for you to listen to them. In such cases continue to be good and well-mannered while gently explaining to them the unacceptability of what they’re suggesting.

And Allah alone gives success.

Yusuf Mullan